Well me neither. Actually I can but it did take me years of practise to get it right, even after watching colleagues demoing it at cookery courses. I do remember being taught a method at cookery collage involving a large pan of hot water a splash of vinegar and a whirlpool! Fortunately egg poaching day had no bearing on the pass or fail as mine turned in a soggy scrambled, stringy mess.
After many attempts of poach an egg I finally got it sussed out – the temperature of the water is the most essential point to get right – hot, steaming water but not boiling or even simmering, when you can see a few little bubbles just forming on the bottomof the pan, that’s the right temperature. Then have an egg at room temperature, not straight from the fridge, make a small whirlpool in the centre of your saucepan and crack the egg into it.
Hopefully the lightly swirling water will assist to keep the egg white together ish. Now you need to wait and keep an eye on the water temperature, if it starts to look like it might boil, take the pan off the heat and the water is more than hot enough to keep the egg cooking. Try to resist the temptation to poke or agitate the egg as you can so easily cause the yolk to break.
You know when it is cooked as all the white should go white and no longer be a clear/opaque colour. Using a slotted spoon or spatula, gently lift the egg off the bottom of the pan and remove it from the water onto a plate, dry it slightly with kitchen roll and its ready to serve.
To make your life even easier you can invest in a Poach Pod, this is a silicon pod that you crack your egg into, then place the pod into a pan of very lightly simmering water. Father Christmas gave me 2 this year and they are absolute genius and work a treat, especially if you are trying to do more than 1 egg at a time. The egg cooks perfectly in the pod and they are really easy to remove by running a spoon around the side and you can just pop it out.
Try them out, you can buy them in any good cook shop like http://www.lakeland.co.uk/and they cost around £4.99 each. Here’s what they look like:

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